WEAVE-GATE: IS SCOTT PRESLER'S HAIR FAKE?

Beyond scamming, harassing lawmakers, and hooking up in political offices, Scott Presler is best known for his brown mane. That Spirit Halloween witch wig of hair has become something of a calling card, leaving greasy marks across every county in his pursuit to pass pointless legislation.

We all know the summoning ritual: say his name three times at a voting poll and he'll appear, spouting some senseless nonsense for 15 seconds before vanishing, leaving long stringy strands coiled around your ballot. 

But here's the thing, grifters don't just grift in one avenue. Their entire life is a swindle. So who's to say that that hair is even real? Is there a chance that Presler could be wearing a wig or extensions? Like this synthetic one from Shein for $27.56? Let's break it down.  

1. Unnatural Shine

One dead giveaway for extensions and budget wigs is an uncanny, plastic-like gloss. Cheap, synthetic fibers reflect light, giving the hair an almost plastic-like appearance. Almost as if they were attached to a troll doll, which in Presler's case, is not too far off. You know what they say: if the wig fits…

2. Weird Hair Part 

Another clue that could reveal Presler's tresses to be manufactured is the made-in-China hairline. Stark and severe middle parts, aka "folded page" or "magazine" parts, normally scream to some artificial foul play. While Presler does appear to have a widows peak, the strands erupting from it are slightly stiff and rigid, potentially indicating a low quality unit. 

3. Improper Positioning

Is it just us? Or does Presler's hairline sit a little…low? If Scott's hair does turn out to be fake, we wouldn't be surprised, given this amateur mistake. Wigs need to be properly sized. Choosing one that's too large (which would seem impossible, given his massive head) could cause it to slide forward. It might be prudent for Presler to pivot from posting on X and instead watch some YouTube tutorials, where he'll find numerous instructional videos on proper lace-cutting. Snipping too much lace off the front is a rookie movie, forcing the wig to slip down. Just some food for thought.

Now, of course, all of this is speculation. We can't be sure that Presler's wearing fake hair. But one thing isn't up for debate: it looks bad.