NATIONAL EMBARRASSMENT

In 1776, our Founding Fathers adopted the Declaration of Independence, laying the building blocks for this great nation. If only they could've seen that 250 years later, a new enemy would plague America. One scarier, fruitier, and way more annoying than the redcoats.

Scott Presler 

Over the past weekend, our democracy was attacked when Presler gallivanted to the National Mall for America 250, topdressing the place with pixie dust and grifts. Evidence of the invasion is littered across social media, with Presler uploading a trove of videos posing alongside his unsuspecting victims, who probably thought they were getting a photo with some kind of carnival attraction. The world's tallest fairy, perhaps?

In one memorable clip, Presler attempts to lead a group of attendees in shouting "Pass the SAVE America Act," only for the entire chant to derail. It seems that no one there had any idea what the SAVE Act was. Or that it even existed. Typical MAGA. Stupid. Oblivious. The kind of people that the Scott Preslers of the world love to prey on. 

He's not without his true fans though. On X, Lisa Moore posted an AI photo of Presler reimagined as a leader on the battlefield during the Revolutionary War. Wishful thinking. The only things this guy has battled are carbs, heterosexuality, and…well…the truth. 

Here's how Scott really looked at America 250. 

Look at this scammer. Cosplaying as a cowboy, when the only thing that he's ever ridden was all the guys he invited to that RNC office in Virginia Beach. And then posted explicit pictures of it on Craigslist after the fact. The swindler couldn't even complete his look with those fake cowboy boots he always wears. 

The lesson here is clear. You can talk like a patriot. And you can try to dress like one, too. But you'll never be one, Scott.